


Is it selfish?

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [72]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Conversations, F/M, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Friendship, Love, Pregnancy, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 18:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15690963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Oliver, John and Roy talk about their thoughts of fatherhood.





	Is it selfish?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver's imprisonment. He has been out of prison for 291 days.
> 
> The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Oliver was sitting on Felicity’s chair in the bunker and he was holding a glass of vodka in his hand. He tapped his forefinger against the surface of a table absent-mindedly. Felicity was working with Curtis and William was visiting his grandparents so Oliver wasn’t needed at home. It gave him a chance to think about everything.

Oliver put the glass on the table and rubbed his face with his hands tiredly. He hadn’t slept well last night because he had been thinking of Lyla and Diggle’s news. They were having a new baby which also meant changes in their team. John becoming father for the second time meant he couldn’t be that much in the field. Yet, that wasn’t the actual reason why Oliver had only tossed around in his bed without getting any sleep. Oliver had been thinking of what if he himself became a father for the second time. 

Oliver let out a deep sigh took another sip from his glass. Felicity and he hadn’t had time to talk about kids last night and it bothered him. Sometimes it felt like they were avoiding the topic. Felicity always talked about how having William was enough and Oliver agreed. William was more than Oliver had ever dared dream of. 

Oliver knew William wouldn’t mind having a little brother or sister and he wasn’t scared of being replaced. In addition, William had told Oliver that it would be cool to teach and tease someone. His son’s words made Oliver smile. Oliver was sure William would be such a great big brother and his siblings were going to adore him more than anything. 

Oliver stared at Felicity’s computers which were always running a new algorithm. He looked at the screens where he could see Felicity’s codes were compiling. It was almost hypnotic. Oliver was sure he had married the most remarkable woman in the world and more than anything he wanted her to be happy. He wanted to offer anything she needed. He wanted to offer her happiness but he didn’t know whether it meant having more kids or not.

Oliver covered eyes with the back of his arms and leaned back. Truth to be told, Oliver wanted to have more kids although he was worried about being too greedy. He had already gotten more than he deserved. He thought about those days in Lian Yu, China and Russia. He had been sure he wouldn’t survive and if he survived, he wouldn’t deserve happiness because he had done many terrible things. He didn’t deserve anything as pure and beautiful as being loved by his wife and child. Was he willing to push his luck with another child? He felt selfish when he admitted to himself that he wanted more kids.

Oliver was also worried about putting an innocent baby on the list of the targets. Everyone close to him were on that list. Anyone could hurt him if they threatened his family. It went without saying, Oliver wouldn’t survive if something happened to his son, wife, sister or friends. Having more kids was like screaming to troubles to find you. Oliver shook his head to clear his mind. He was always expecting the worst to happen. 

He should have already learnt that nothing was sure and he needed to keep living no matter what. He couldn’t stop living or moving on because he was scared of losing someone. He needed to find a balance and he had to learn to keep his overprotectiveness at bay. Being scared of life wasn’t an option and he really wanted to have kids with Felicity.

Oliver removed his arms from his face when he heard steps coming towards him. Oliver frowned as he saw Diggle and Roy coming closer because he hadn’t expected to see them at the bunker. Roy was carrying a duffel bag on his shoulder and he was explaining something to John. John snorted and shook his head with amusement.

Then they turned their attention to Oliver and John narrowed his eyes as he saw the vodka glass in front of Oliver. John stopped and asked worriedly while gesturing towards the glass: “Is everything okay?”

Oliver looked at his glass and shrugged before answering: “Yeah. I just needed a drink.”

John raised a single eyebrow in question but Oliver ignored it. Instead, he asked: “What are the two of you doing here?”

“We were supposed to train, remember?” Roy responded and dropped his bag on the ground next to him. Then he folded his arms across his chest.

Oliver groaned and ran his hands over his face before mumbling against his palms: “I totally forgot.”

Oliver rose to his feet and huffed: “I’m ready in a few minutes. I’ll go to change.”

“No, you won’t,” John said sternly and gave a pointed look to Oliver. He continued: “You have been drinking which means you’re not training. Felicity would kill you and then us if she found out you ended up in hospital because of your slow reaction time.”

Oliver sighed deeply but he knew John was right – it wasn’t safe to train if your senses and reaction time were compromised. Besides, Felicity would actually kill him if he was stupid enough to push his luck. Oliver slumped back in the chair and rubbed his fingers together nervously. Oliver leaned forward and looked down at his shoes. He was well aware of the looks his friends were exchanging. 

“I want to have a baby,” Oliver blurted out without thinking. His words hung in the air but Roy and Diggle said nothing.

“Okay,” Roy finally answered, prolonging the word. Then he asked confused: “Why?”

John smacked Roy’s bicep and rolled his eyes at Roy’s ignorance before stepping closer to Oliver. John asked cautiously: “Have you talked about it with Felicity?”

Oliver shook his head in answer and rubbed his fingers together even more furiously. After a while, he huffed out: “Am I selfish if I want to have more kids? William is more than enough.”

“No one doubted that. Everyone knows how much you and Felicity love William but it’s not selfish to want more kids,” John answered gently and took a chair. He sat down next to Oliver.

“Maybe,” Oliver said hesitantly.

“Believe me, Oliver. JJ is also more than enough but I’m still beyond ecstatic when I just think about becoming a dad for the second time. I don’t think it’s selfish. It’s love for my family which is about to expand,” John reasoned out loud.

Roy leaned on the table near Oliver and John and said deep in his thoughts: “I don’t think I’m selfish although I want to be a dad too.”

“What?” Oliver asked surprised. He had never thought about Roy wanting to be a dad. In Oliver’s eyes, Roy was still a young kid who was annoyingly stubborn. However, Oliver had also seen the grown-up version of Roy.

You guys really bruise my ego,” Roy complained before going on more softly: “Of course, I want to be a dad one day. I love being William’s cool uncle and it makes me wonder what it would be like to be a dad. Having a family is one of my biggest dreams.”

“Would you like to have kids with Thea?” John asked cautiously and glanced at Oliver. Oliver shifted uncomfortably but held his breath as he waited for Roy’s answer.

“I don’t know how to move on without her. I tried to find a way to live without her when I left Star City but there was no one for me. She’s the one and I’m going to wait for her, no matter what,” Roy said with conviction and Oliver exhaled relieved while John nodded in understanding. Maybe Oliver could finally accept Roy as Thea’s boyfriend although he had never been a huge fan of Thea’s boyfriends. Yet, he was never going to admit he accepted Roy as Thea's boyfriend.

Then Roy looked at Oliver and said: “You shouldn’t be worried about nonsense, Oliver. Talk to Felicity. She loves you more than you can even believe and she always has a solution.”

Oliver nodded and smiled at Roy. The kid from Glades had really grown up.

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> Felicity and Oliver sit down and have a serious conversation.


End file.
